Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
