What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize