ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
