Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
