She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
