there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
