At least make sure they are 18
Why
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize