put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
