its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
