im drinking this country out of the recession.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
