she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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