Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
