are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
