i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
