living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He felt like a one man threesome
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
