Do you still have your period?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
