My girlfriend figured out who you are.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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