I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
