this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
