I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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