"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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