Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Text me some of your sweat
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
