i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
