mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
