just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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