he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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