All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
