Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
