Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize