bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
