please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Green mimosas i think yes
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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