I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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