Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
