He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
