I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
