have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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