ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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