Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize