Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
