You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
