I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
