Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
