and you said cock pushups were impossible
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize