rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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