dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
