I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
