Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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