soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
