if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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