I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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