ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
