i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
