Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
