just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
