I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You can't just leave with hair like that
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
