dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
