bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
