i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This is my gift to your gina
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize